Friday, August 29, 2003
late friday
i feel that in my life, i'm always late for evrything... sumhow or other, it's my innate nature but will i even be late fer my own funeral then??? :P
well THat's certainly a morbid thought. talking about being morbid...
Each that we lose takes part of us;
A crescent still abides,
which like the moon some turbid night,
Is summoned by the tides.
---- Emily Dickinson, (taken from Part IV; Time & Eternity of Complete Poems)
Emily Dickinson remains to be a source of inspiration for me. Ran across this poem of hers this morning and i juz fell in love wif it after a single reading. there's sumthing about emily's stuff which seems to always strike a chord within me. She speaks in the language of the soul... if only i have a minuscule of her talent or vision, i wud be so happy... nevertheless, its absolutely splendid to be able to give such beautiful shape and prose to your thoughts.
well anyway, i slept pretty late on wednesday night as i was vetting zaq's work and i must say i did a slipshod job on them but hey-- it was quite a last minute effort on his part too! :P Anywayz, there were nine documents in total, each around two or three paragraphs long and each, i think (becuz he didnt really tell me what it was all about) is a summary of an article or essay which i as sure as hell dont have a clue about.. Thus, i only had like three hours sleep before i had to accompany my bro fer his appointment at sgh's haematology clinic yesterday morning. that was only a half-day affair, thankfully, and i managed to get a shower and a filling lunch at home before setting off to town to meet a couple of frens to get zechiel's bday present. spent only a few hours in town and was on the mrt when i bumped into Nur, my MANGO fren, who was on her way home after work. she's such a darling.. saw her at jimmy's bday gathering last sunday at the westin hotel (i know it's no longer westin but that's wat most pple still call it anyway~) and had a wonderful time catchin up on old times. we havent seen each other fer ages and its NOt an exaggeration!! hmm.. seems like i've been to so many bday celebrations this year...
well, that brings us to this: HAPPY BIRTHDAY tjay aka zechiel aka Chris! LOL i know how birthdays can sumtimes be a bittersweet event (like i always say, it's juz another day on the calender; it's not even a public holiday! muahaha) but nonetheless, here's wishing that u will have meaningful, if not delightful, birthday this year...
that's about it fer now cuz i've got sum wrapping to do! *winks*
For evry sentence i write here, another ten sentences remain unwritten.. now, isnt that juz a splendid and poetical thought?? :P
well THat's certainly a morbid thought. talking about being morbid...
Each that we lose takes part of us;
A crescent still abides,
which like the moon some turbid night,
Is summoned by the tides.
---- Emily Dickinson, (taken from Part IV; Time & Eternity of Complete Poems)
Emily Dickinson remains to be a source of inspiration for me. Ran across this poem of hers this morning and i juz fell in love wif it after a single reading. there's sumthing about emily's stuff which seems to always strike a chord within me. She speaks in the language of the soul... if only i have a minuscule of her talent or vision, i wud be so happy... nevertheless, its absolutely splendid to be able to give such beautiful shape and prose to your thoughts.
well anyway, i slept pretty late on wednesday night as i was vetting zaq's work and i must say i did a slipshod job on them but hey-- it was quite a last minute effort on his part too! :P Anywayz, there were nine documents in total, each around two or three paragraphs long and each, i think (becuz he didnt really tell me what it was all about) is a summary of an article or essay which i as sure as hell dont have a clue about.. Thus, i only had like three hours sleep before i had to accompany my bro fer his appointment at sgh's haematology clinic yesterday morning. that was only a half-day affair, thankfully, and i managed to get a shower and a filling lunch at home before setting off to town to meet a couple of frens to get zechiel's bday present. spent only a few hours in town and was on the mrt when i bumped into Nur, my MANGO fren, who was on her way home after work. she's such a darling.. saw her at jimmy's bday gathering last sunday at the westin hotel (i know it's no longer westin but that's wat most pple still call it anyway~) and had a wonderful time catchin up on old times. we havent seen each other fer ages and its NOt an exaggeration!! hmm.. seems like i've been to so many bday celebrations this year...
well, that brings us to this: HAPPY BIRTHDAY tjay aka zechiel aka Chris! LOL i know how birthdays can sumtimes be a bittersweet event (like i always say, it's juz another day on the calender; it's not even a public holiday! muahaha) but nonetheless, here's wishing that u will have meaningful, if not delightful, birthday this year...
that's about it fer now cuz i've got sum wrapping to do! *winks*
For evry sentence i write here, another ten sentences remain unwritten.. now, isnt that juz a splendid and poetical thought?? :P
Wednesday, August 27, 2003
oh dear
You are "Through the Rain"! Even through
everything bad and horrible, you know you'll
make it through. You are strong and aren't
going to give in to hurt and pain easily.
Which Mariah Carey Song Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
day of week
awake
the clock on my wall reads 10am. well, that's certainly a first in a long while. havent woken up this early since... i cant remember!! hahaha. anyway, though i used to brag about my so-called "good memory" to chacha in the past, i fear that i am getting more and more forgetful and absentminded. why is this so??? is it one of the failings of getting old? or is there a deeper significance to my amnesiac moments?? i wonder sumtimes why i cant tell last week's monday from tuesday... why the days seem to roll by wifout so much as a whimper sumtimes without me noticing it. is my life simply getting too monotonous for me?
oftentimes in my past blog entries, i had addressed the need to elucidate the significance or the underlying purpose of blog... this facility which most people have taken for granted has more import than to be the avenue for displaying one's html skills.... (oh yeah, by the way, the attentive follower of my blogsite may have noticed its dramatic changes over the past few days.. thus i wud like to make it clear that all the templates i've used so far are simply modifications of those which i found thru the net. its not really difficult; i merely typed "free blogger template" in my search engine... hehe. but of course, its also so much easier to change a blogspot template as compared to let's say, a blogdrive one, is it not? :P Anyways, dearest chacha had pointed out to me that the elaborateness of a template is not really important; especially when the content is of quality enough to engage the reader to follow yr entries.... :p Anyway, back to the subject at hand...!)
why do we always feel the need to censor ourselves? to maintain tact and proper decorum at all times, even in one own's personal space?? if only this webpage is like the empty paper pages of a bound journal or diary... then i would have the liberty to write watever pleases me--- be it just a run-of-the-mill expletive like fuck Or the infrequent gripe i might have over what one of my frens have done. yes its true, even those we consider closest and dearest to us may be a source of aggravation or depression. we are just fallible humans, aren't we? So prone to mistakes... i'm sure once in awhile we need an outlet to moan, to whine, to complain wifout the need to bowdlerize ourselves. but that is not Possible at all. ... maybe This is what being an adult is all about. Keeping a level head. Being responsible. MAintaining social etiquette be it we like it or not... but then, i guess we're better individuals for it. ;p however, sumtimes too, there are just simply those odd emotions which have to be expressed, yet often, even feelings are censored not merely because they leave us so fragile and vulnerable when exposed, but also because of the multitude of implications which they may invoke in the reader and so, Restrain we must to abstain from causing any negative repercussions arising from too liberal an outburst...
oh well, i think i'm just releasing steam as i havent been blogging much recently. i guess i was too preoccupied to find that PErfect template but seriously, i havent found anything that Really suits my fancy. if this keeps up, i might just have to design my own template! hahahaha. erm, but then i'm a self-proclaimed technophobe and hence, THAT is totally beyond my meagre capabilities unless i do sum major read-up first and for this, a trip to the library is most necessary. this is due to the fact that i am one of those unfortunate few who find reading off webpages a bit disconcerting... after awhile, i think i get cross-eyed and giddy and definitely, i find a bound book or pieces of notes which i can hold in my hand more reassuring and comforting both to the eyes and mind. :) (yeah right wadever!!!)
its a wednesday. so fast the weekend is soon upon us! Let's see... i think there's charmed tonite. shud i watch?? see how. tv is becoming my savior these days. wifout much effort, i am able to list out my television staples; On mondays, friends and smallville. Tuesdays, Singapore's Brainiest kid and Anugerah and Juaralagu. Charmed on wednesdays. ways of matriarch and absolutely fabulous on thursdays. Friday nights and the weekend i'll be out usually so the only tv i'll be getting are xmen-evo on saturdays and justiceleague (& on odd occasions, lizzie mcguire) on sundays. it is rare that i watch anything else becuz my mother monopolizes the television and she of course, (or my older sis) has complete control of wat the family watches in the living room. daytime tv is dominated by my niece who will simply start wailing if she doesnt get her daily dose of kidscentral. i dun mind this at all mostly as kiddy shows can be quite hilarious and entertaining (a good example wud be spongebob squarepants :) but it does get a tad too much at times..
well.. i think that shud be about it fer now. i seem to have written quite abit. i'll leave the rest of my "musings and ravings" fer next time. ;p
"WHy me? There must be a reason why i was sent to this planet!" - Clark.
"You won't find the answers by looking to the stars. It's a journey you'll have to take by looking inside yourself. You must write your own destiny... " - Prof Swann.
---- excerpt frm Smallville, episode 17, Rosetta. Scene between tom welling and cameo guest-star christopher reeves.
oftentimes in my past blog entries, i had addressed the need to elucidate the significance or the underlying purpose of blog... this facility which most people have taken for granted has more import than to be the avenue for displaying one's html skills.... (oh yeah, by the way, the attentive follower of my blogsite may have noticed its dramatic changes over the past few days.. thus i wud like to make it clear that all the templates i've used so far are simply modifications of those which i found thru the net. its not really difficult; i merely typed "free blogger template" in my search engine... hehe. but of course, its also so much easier to change a blogspot template as compared to let's say, a blogdrive one, is it not? :P Anyways, dearest chacha had pointed out to me that the elaborateness of a template is not really important; especially when the content is of quality enough to engage the reader to follow yr entries.... :p Anyway, back to the subject at hand...!)
why do we always feel the need to censor ourselves? to maintain tact and proper decorum at all times, even in one own's personal space?? if only this webpage is like the empty paper pages of a bound journal or diary... then i would have the liberty to write watever pleases me--- be it just a run-of-the-mill expletive like fuck Or the infrequent gripe i might have over what one of my frens have done. yes its true, even those we consider closest and dearest to us may be a source of aggravation or depression. we are just fallible humans, aren't we? So prone to mistakes... i'm sure once in awhile we need an outlet to moan, to whine, to complain wifout the need to bowdlerize ourselves. but that is not Possible at all. ... maybe This is what being an adult is all about. Keeping a level head. Being responsible. MAintaining social etiquette be it we like it or not... but then, i guess we're better individuals for it. ;p however, sumtimes too, there are just simply those odd emotions which have to be expressed, yet often, even feelings are censored not merely because they leave us so fragile and vulnerable when exposed, but also because of the multitude of implications which they may invoke in the reader and so, Restrain we must to abstain from causing any negative repercussions arising from too liberal an outburst...
oh well, i think i'm just releasing steam as i havent been blogging much recently. i guess i was too preoccupied to find that PErfect template but seriously, i havent found anything that Really suits my fancy. if this keeps up, i might just have to design my own template! hahahaha. erm, but then i'm a self-proclaimed technophobe and hence, THAT is totally beyond my meagre capabilities unless i do sum major read-up first and for this, a trip to the library is most necessary. this is due to the fact that i am one of those unfortunate few who find reading off webpages a bit disconcerting... after awhile, i think i get cross-eyed and giddy and definitely, i find a bound book or pieces of notes which i can hold in my hand more reassuring and comforting both to the eyes and mind. :) (yeah right wadever!!!)
its a wednesday. so fast the weekend is soon upon us! Let's see... i think there's charmed tonite. shud i watch?? see how. tv is becoming my savior these days. wifout much effort, i am able to list out my television staples; On mondays, friends and smallville. Tuesdays, Singapore's Brainiest kid and Anugerah and Juaralagu. Charmed on wednesdays. ways of matriarch and absolutely fabulous on thursdays. Friday nights and the weekend i'll be out usually so the only tv i'll be getting are xmen-evo on saturdays and justiceleague (& on odd occasions, lizzie mcguire) on sundays. it is rare that i watch anything else becuz my mother monopolizes the television and she of course, (or my older sis) has complete control of wat the family watches in the living room. daytime tv is dominated by my niece who will simply start wailing if she doesnt get her daily dose of kidscentral. i dun mind this at all mostly as kiddy shows can be quite hilarious and entertaining (a good example wud be spongebob squarepants :) but it does get a tad too much at times..
well.. i think that shud be about it fer now. i seem to have written quite abit. i'll leave the rest of my "musings and ravings" fer next time. ;p
"WHy me? There must be a reason why i was sent to this planet!" - Clark.
"You won't find the answers by looking to the stars. It's a journey you'll have to take by looking inside yourself. You must write your own destiny... " - Prof Swann.
---- excerpt frm Smallville, episode 17, Rosetta. Scene between tom welling and cameo guest-star christopher reeves.
Sunday, August 24, 2003
of blogs, fads and bowlers...
was planning to blog yesterday but totally overlooked it sumhow or other... well, yesterday was a TOTAL BORE.. stayed home whole day stoning in front of the pc... but come to think of it, i cant really remember what was it that i had been doing...
recently, tagboard.com, which had been supplying my blogsite wif a messageboard has been giving me some problems. this wasnt the first time... so i felt that it was time i scouted fer a new one.. (a free provider of course was absolutely necessary) after a couple of hours of surfing, i chanced upon myshoutbox.com.. i registered and thus, a new fad was born!!! i muz say that shoutbox is waaaayyy so much cuter and cooler than tagboard and on top of that, its easy to use, hassle-free and comes with a myriad of useful and interesting functions. zechiel tried it out next... then riko.. then HQ... and then... It has become THE phenomena of the month i guess. the last time i saw a fad spread so quickly was when... we first started blogging!! hahaha
Fads are really sumthing.. they take hold of u so rapidly and wif great potency.. juz like that lethal virus known as SARS!! (remember that??) but juz as rapidly, they may fade... juz like how SARS has been rendered almost obsolete... leaving only memries... :)
well anyway, yesterday was a bore but the day before that, we had such Great FUn!!! went down to town to meet my fellow blogmates and was actually dreading the prospect of spending whole evening either rotting at spinellis or having a lame game of pool in sum dingy spot sumwhere. thankfully, sumone suggested bowling.. so Off our motley crew went to marina... played a couple of rounds of Daytona (after which i decided that i completely am a deunce at! ) and then played a couple of games of bowling! i concede the fact that i SUCK at it but watthehell.. it was great fun playing wif the gang! *hurrah* After that though, my right arm and fingers felt so sore and stiff... (still aching actually... :P ) chilled out awhile outside kfc there wif musx & thommy b4 setting off fer home! GOsh! that was super Fun.. cant wait to do it again! fizzy was such a pro!!! am so jealous... :)
my mum has been nagging at me to attend my uncle's kenduri later. (sum traditional ritual thingy where we offer prayers to a deceased and end up feasting LOL ) no matter how much i cajoled and coaxed her, i dont seem to be able to get out of it. *damn* its gonna be the most Horrid sunday evening ever.... *haiz*
recently, tagboard.com, which had been supplying my blogsite wif a messageboard has been giving me some problems. this wasnt the first time... so i felt that it was time i scouted fer a new one.. (a free provider of course was absolutely necessary) after a couple of hours of surfing, i chanced upon myshoutbox.com.. i registered and thus, a new fad was born!!! i muz say that shoutbox is waaaayyy so much cuter and cooler than tagboard and on top of that, its easy to use, hassle-free and comes with a myriad of useful and interesting functions. zechiel tried it out next... then riko.. then HQ... and then... It has become THE phenomena of the month i guess. the last time i saw a fad spread so quickly was when... we first started blogging!! hahaha
Fads are really sumthing.. they take hold of u so rapidly and wif great potency.. juz like that lethal virus known as SARS!! (remember that??) but juz as rapidly, they may fade... juz like how SARS has been rendered almost obsolete... leaving only memries... :)
well anyway, yesterday was a bore but the day before that, we had such Great FUn!!! went down to town to meet my fellow blogmates and was actually dreading the prospect of spending whole evening either rotting at spinellis or having a lame game of pool in sum dingy spot sumwhere. thankfully, sumone suggested bowling.. so Off our motley crew went to marina... played a couple of rounds of Daytona (after which i decided that i completely am a deunce at! ) and then played a couple of games of bowling! i concede the fact that i SUCK at it but watthehell.. it was great fun playing wif the gang! *hurrah* After that though, my right arm and fingers felt so sore and stiff... (still aching actually... :P ) chilled out awhile outside kfc there wif musx & thommy b4 setting off fer home! GOsh! that was super Fun.. cant wait to do it again! fizzy was such a pro!!! am so jealous... :)
my mum has been nagging at me to attend my uncle's kenduri later. (sum traditional ritual thingy where we offer prayers to a deceased and end up feasting LOL ) no matter how much i cajoled and coaxed her, i dont seem to be able to get out of it. *damn* its gonna be the most Horrid sunday evening ever.... *haiz*
Do you still remember? (a sonnet)
Do you still remember that night when we first met?
I was half-awake, half asleep ---
Too long ago this dream I dreamed; the memory too far, too deep.
Was the prussian sky littered with stars that night?
And did Orion’s belt shine and gleam with mischievous delight?
Did you feel the rumbling of the trains beneath our feet?
Or was it just the tremors of my racing heartbeat?
The August moon might be laughing when Cupid let his arrow fly
But I was half-awake, half asleep ---
Too cunningly he planned, too well hid; his shot had pierced me deep.
If now you recall, did u foresee all this from the start?
Or were you a victim too? Did Cupid prey upon your unsuspecting heart?
Yet how could I deny what the Fates had conspired for me
And in this half-dreaming, half-waking --- I submit to my destiny.
---- circa 14th Feb 2003
PS: to my dearest... happy one year anniversary~
I was half-awake, half asleep ---
Too long ago this dream I dreamed; the memory too far, too deep.
Was the prussian sky littered with stars that night?
And did Orion’s belt shine and gleam with mischievous delight?
Did you feel the rumbling of the trains beneath our feet?
Or was it just the tremors of my racing heartbeat?
The August moon might be laughing when Cupid let his arrow fly
But I was half-awake, half asleep ---
Too cunningly he planned, too well hid; his shot had pierced me deep.
If now you recall, did u foresee all this from the start?
Or were you a victim too? Did Cupid prey upon your unsuspecting heart?
Yet how could I deny what the Fates had conspired for me
And in this half-dreaming, half-waking --- I submit to my destiny.
---- circa 14th Feb 2003
PS: to my dearest... happy one year anniversary~
huh?
Saturday, August 23, 2003
some quizzes
borderline
Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla
---- did this before... same result. :P
Seer
The ULTIMATE personality test
brought to you by Quizilla
---- i cheated abit on this one. repeated the quiz around 4 or 5 times but got this result twice...
Thursday, August 21, 2003
charmed
charmed's fifth season (or is it the sixth?? lost track already) is now airing over channel 5 on wednesdays. i missed last week's season debut but managed to download it and the second episode as well... (its amazing the amount of stuff you can download with broadband nowadays and my deepest sympathies to those still stuck wif dial-up connections. ;P ) if only my sexual preference isnt so controversial, i'm certain that i wud enjoy charmed.. aLOT! so much eye-candy! rose mcgowan and alyssa milano are sizzling~ HOT!! however, i miss shannen doherty very much.. i think the show isnt really the same wifout her... frankly speaking, i feel that shannon anchored the show pretty well as the eldest halliwell sister but her offscreen enmity wif alyssa muz have been realllyyyy terrible fer the script writers to juz kill off her character so abruptly... Still, rose mcgowan is very refreshing to watch but it isnt the same... and phoebe is getting on my nerves!! *grrr!* why is she ALWAYS hogging the spotlight?? muahaha.. well, charmed is i think, juz fluff mostly anywayz... the plot twists are ridiculous at times and when will the supporting cast (ie. evryone else except the 3 bitches.. i mean, witches!) ever do some decent acting??? ;p
i think i really am turning into a tv nut... i NEVER miss smallville and friends now. Is it juz me or does allison mack aka Chloe look so gorgeous last week? and where is lucas luthor?? i miss him!! *drooling uncontrollably* LOL michael rosenbaum is pretty interesting to watch too... he is SO intense and magnetic whereas Tom welling looks so... erm... nerdy?? muahaha. i'm getting kinda impatient wif him.. when will he and kristin kreuk EVER go on a date together??? the suspense is killing me!! and for once, can sumone please make him get rid of his lost-puppy face?? *argh!!* nevertheless, next week's episode should be really fun to watch; christopher reeves (ie. the ORIGINAL superman frm the movies) is gonna make a cameo appearance!! COol, eh?!
hmmm.. sumthing must be the matter wif me.. i've never really whined about insignificant tv dramas before. maybe all i need is sum decent shuteye.. these past few days have been rather mentally taxing and i think my fellow blogmates wud have to agree wif me on this one... why isnt life juz so much simpler??
gotta accompany my bro for his specialist appointment later in the afternoon... *brrrrr* rather reluctant to face the latter; he is such a grouch! and hopefully, the renal clinic wont be as crowded as last week... hospitals can be such a bore sumtimes especially when you've gotta wait fer hours juz fer a measley five-minute chat wif a grumpy doctor!! :( ahhh well... my poor bro cant really help it. over the next half a year, he's gotta see his specialists at least once a fortnight and have regular bloodtests to boot... so who am i to complain?
In the arms of an angel, fly away from here;
From this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear...
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort there
---- excerpt frm Sarah Maclachlan's Angel. (so now u know wat's dominating my jukebox. ;p )
i think i really am turning into a tv nut... i NEVER miss smallville and friends now. Is it juz me or does allison mack aka Chloe look so gorgeous last week? and where is lucas luthor?? i miss him!! *drooling uncontrollably* LOL michael rosenbaum is pretty interesting to watch too... he is SO intense and magnetic whereas Tom welling looks so... erm... nerdy?? muahaha. i'm getting kinda impatient wif him.. when will he and kristin kreuk EVER go on a date together??? the suspense is killing me!! and for once, can sumone please make him get rid of his lost-puppy face?? *argh!!* nevertheless, next week's episode should be really fun to watch; christopher reeves (ie. the ORIGINAL superman frm the movies) is gonna make a cameo appearance!! COol, eh?!
hmmm.. sumthing must be the matter wif me.. i've never really whined about insignificant tv dramas before. maybe all i need is sum decent shuteye.. these past few days have been rather mentally taxing and i think my fellow blogmates wud have to agree wif me on this one... why isnt life juz so much simpler??
gotta accompany my bro for his specialist appointment later in the afternoon... *brrrrr* rather reluctant to face the latter; he is such a grouch! and hopefully, the renal clinic wont be as crowded as last week... hospitals can be such a bore sumtimes especially when you've gotta wait fer hours juz fer a measley five-minute chat wif a grumpy doctor!! :( ahhh well... my poor bro cant really help it. over the next half a year, he's gotta see his specialists at least once a fortnight and have regular bloodtests to boot... so who am i to complain?
In the arms of an angel, fly away from here;
From this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear...
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort there
---- excerpt frm Sarah Maclachlan's Angel. (so now u know wat's dominating my jukebox. ;p )
Wednesday, August 20, 2003
invisible
"Goodbye," said the fox. "Now here is my secret. It is very simple. It is only with one's heart that one can see clearly. What is essential is invisible to the eye."
"What is essential is invisible to the eye," the little prince repeated, so as to be sure to remember.
"It is the time that you lavished on your rose which makes your rose so important."
"It is the time that I lavished on my rose... " said the little prince, so as to be sure to remember.
"Men have forgotten this basic truth," said the fox. "But you must not forget it. For what you have tamed, you become responsible forever. You are responsible for your rose... "
"I am responsible for my rose... " the little prince repeated, so as to be sure to remember.
---- excerpt from chapter twenty-one, The Little Prince, by Antoine De Saint-Exupery.
I just completed my second reading of the little prince over the weekend. i didnt really appreciate it the first time round becuz i had the impression that children's books ARE for children so how profound can they be?? yet, as i was reading this fascinating story, i began to realise that this is no ordinary children's fable... it is a magical, breath-taking journey which i'm sure will entertain young readers immensely (especially the peculiarly cute illustrations!) but discriminating adults will relish this story too. "A thought-provoking allegory of the human condition" so says the book review on the back cover... TRUEness! i muz really applaud the author for writing such a simple story yet underlaid with very strong and emphatic connotations. erm.. embarrassingly, sum parts were so touching that it brought tears to my myopic eyes! i'm such a wuss!! LOL
but then this entry is not a book review. these last couple of days, it's like my whole mind is going insane... part of me wants to laugh hysterically while there is a part that wants to cry out in anguish... And no.. this isnt some maudlin drama moment or some desperate plea for attention... it was as if i was falling apart at the seams and all i want to do is to lash out at evrything that comes in my way. i was on the brink of lunacy; just a step away from total irreparable MADness surely.. but sumhow, i think i've settled down calmly again for now. my apologies to all parties who were affected by my incredulous behaviour (or any repercussions resulting thereof). Hopefully, my foul temperament will not resurface anytime soon.
Afterall, one must always keep in mind that the most essential truths, and the most beautiful, are "invisible to the eye." :)
"What is essential is invisible to the eye," the little prince repeated, so as to be sure to remember.
"It is the time that you lavished on your rose which makes your rose so important."
"It is the time that I lavished on my rose... " said the little prince, so as to be sure to remember.
"Men have forgotten this basic truth," said the fox. "But you must not forget it. For what you have tamed, you become responsible forever. You are responsible for your rose... "
"I am responsible for my rose... " the little prince repeated, so as to be sure to remember.
---- excerpt from chapter twenty-one, The Little Prince, by Antoine De Saint-Exupery.
I just completed my second reading of the little prince over the weekend. i didnt really appreciate it the first time round becuz i had the impression that children's books ARE for children so how profound can they be?? yet, as i was reading this fascinating story, i began to realise that this is no ordinary children's fable... it is a magical, breath-taking journey which i'm sure will entertain young readers immensely (especially the peculiarly cute illustrations!) but discriminating adults will relish this story too. "A thought-provoking allegory of the human condition" so says the book review on the back cover... TRUEness! i muz really applaud the author for writing such a simple story yet underlaid with very strong and emphatic connotations. erm.. embarrassingly, sum parts were so touching that it brought tears to my myopic eyes! i'm such a wuss!! LOL
but then this entry is not a book review. these last couple of days, it's like my whole mind is going insane... part of me wants to laugh hysterically while there is a part that wants to cry out in anguish... And no.. this isnt some maudlin drama moment or some desperate plea for attention... it was as if i was falling apart at the seams and all i want to do is to lash out at evrything that comes in my way. i was on the brink of lunacy; just a step away from total irreparable MADness surely.. but sumhow, i think i've settled down calmly again for now. my apologies to all parties who were affected by my incredulous behaviour (or any repercussions resulting thereof). Hopefully, my foul temperament will not resurface anytime soon.
Afterall, one must always keep in mind that the most essential truths, and the most beautiful, are "invisible to the eye." :)
huh?
paranoid. or schiztophrenic. do us all a favor
and get some help, will ya?
What's Wrong With You?
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nothing
(empty)
Tuesday, August 19, 2003
there is no hell
There is no hell but I am the greater evil,
I am the darkest pit,
I am the fire.
I am the siren song that saps your mortal will
I am the curse, the monster,
and the destroyer.
I am the slayer who thinks he has won,
I am the Black Death,
I am the Reaper.
I trample the tragic, the tattered, the torn,
Wreak the dreamer
and the foolish believer.
I am the questioned but not the answer,
I am the silent flame,
the mutable fire.
I burn with a touch; I scorch and sear
Yet,
I am my own death,
And funeral pyre.
---- 19th August 2003.
I am the darkest pit,
I am the fire.
I am the siren song that saps your mortal will
I am the curse, the monster,
and the destroyer.
I am the slayer who thinks he has won,
I am the Black Death,
I am the Reaper.
I trample the tragic, the tattered, the torn,
Wreak the dreamer
and the foolish believer.
I am the questioned but not the answer,
I am the silent flame,
the mutable fire.
I burn with a touch; I scorch and sear
Yet,
I am my own death,
And funeral pyre.
---- 19th August 2003.
Monday, August 18, 2003
disorder test; again!
| Disorder | Rating |
| Paranoid: | High |
| Schizoid: | High |
| Schizotypal: | Moderate |
| Antisocial: | Moderate |
| Borderline: | Low |
| Histrionic: | Moderate |
| Narcissistic: | Very High |
| Avoidant: | Moderate |
| Dependent: | Moderate |
| Obsessive-Compulsive: | High |
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! -- | |
PS: saw the link fer this test on dopez' blog. i took it b4 (see 14th June entry) but results are slightly different this time round.
inspired
It's really not polite to NOT invite your 13th
fairy godmother, Sleeping Beauty. Seriously,
it's all your parents fault, you were wayy too
young to know better. Throw a temper tantrum.
They cost you your best years of life. They say
you aren't old.. the wrinkles are coming, hon.
What fairytale are you from?
brought to you by Quizilla
almost broke
yep~ that's the sad truf so i better curb my expenditure and tighten my purse-strings even more for the next few weeks. (NO - i do NOT carry a purse! :P ) how is that possible i wonder? (a voice at the back of my mind is saying sumthing... but am ignoring it at the moment.. hehe) let's see, first off, better cut down on my after-midnite cab rides.. Those really can burn holes in my pockets! and no more leisure drinking... i think i might juz turn into an alcoholic if i go on another drinking spree. oh well.. dis is juz too depressing...
didnt sleep much last nite. dont know why... however, it wasnt really a bad thing cuz was able to catch Justice League on kids central this morning. it ROCKs, man! i like the animation... its by the same animators as the Batman & Superman series and the storyline is pretty decent. too bad today's episode line-up didnt feature my favorite character... wonder woman!!! i juz cant resist that sexy brunette! those gorgeous blue eyes! that confident smile! *sigh* in a previous episode, she even engaged in hand-to-hand combat wif Superman! U go, Gerl! grrr!!~ hey, before u criticize my apparently puerile tastes, i am entirely aware that its Only a cartoon but any comic fan (or fanatic) can tell you that these characters have existed as far back as the 1940s!! on top of that, a significant majority of comic readers are mature, discriminating adults! so there! eh.. but wait, why am i behaving so defensively??? *blurz*
anyway, went down to jpoint wif chacha on a moment's whim to meet ZaQ & Kavan. the latter pair are extreme eastsiders so its such a rare opportunity to see them in this part of singapore... however, i was pretty tired and sleepy so didnt really spend much time wif them.. walked around abit, doing our customary window-shopping (didnt buy anything at all.. wat a miracle!) and had a late lunch at banquet foodcourt. Havent eaten there fer ages! how i miss the food! i think they've got the best carrot-cake and popiah around and the fact that evrything there is already pre-stamped wif the assurance of halal makes it even more tantalizing... however, that place can really get packed wif makciks and their families galore during peak hours so gotta be extra careful to avoid those inconvenient periods... :) After awhile, the weekend crowd juz started to get onto my nerves so was out of jpoint by 6pm...
there werent any good shows on television so decided to watch disney's sleeping beauty which i juz finished downloading recently. actually, it's my second time watching it but since my sis havent caught it yet, i thought to myself; why the hell not go fer a second round?? LOL before you dismiss this animated feature as another maudlin, childish piece intended to entice and bewitch the younger crowd only, i suggest u give it a go first before meting out yr judgment. its actually pretty enjoyable~ the animation isnt top-notch (it was made in 1959 fergawd's sake! so wat can u expect!?!) but there is a classic, baroque feel thru'out which is pretty impressive or at least pleasant to the eye. character-wise, the good, but bumbling, fairies (named flora, fauna and merryweather - no kidding!) provide light-hearted humor and as usual, the big bad witch (aptly called Maleficient) is the most thrilling character to look out for. other than that, the beauty and her prince were bland and run-of-the-mill but certainly not as irritatingly boring as snow white and her seven pesky dwarfs! LOL... 3.5/5 stars!
ahhh.. well.. so ends another entry and another pathetic stab at becoming a critical but just movie reviewer! hehe :P
didnt sleep much last nite. dont know why... however, it wasnt really a bad thing cuz was able to catch Justice League on kids central this morning. it ROCKs, man! i like the animation... its by the same animators as the Batman & Superman series and the storyline is pretty decent. too bad today's episode line-up didnt feature my favorite character... wonder woman!!! i juz cant resist that sexy brunette! those gorgeous blue eyes! that confident smile! *sigh* in a previous episode, she even engaged in hand-to-hand combat wif Superman! U go, Gerl! grrr!!~ hey, before u criticize my apparently puerile tastes, i am entirely aware that its Only a cartoon but any comic fan (or fanatic) can tell you that these characters have existed as far back as the 1940s!! on top of that, a significant majority of comic readers are mature, discriminating adults! so there! eh.. but wait, why am i behaving so defensively??? *blurz*
anyway, went down to jpoint wif chacha on a moment's whim to meet ZaQ & Kavan. the latter pair are extreme eastsiders so its such a rare opportunity to see them in this part of singapore... however, i was pretty tired and sleepy so didnt really spend much time wif them.. walked around abit, doing our customary window-shopping (didnt buy anything at all.. wat a miracle!) and had a late lunch at banquet foodcourt. Havent eaten there fer ages! how i miss the food! i think they've got the best carrot-cake and popiah around and the fact that evrything there is already pre-stamped wif the assurance of halal makes it even more tantalizing... however, that place can really get packed wif makciks and their families galore during peak hours so gotta be extra careful to avoid those inconvenient periods... :) After awhile, the weekend crowd juz started to get onto my nerves so was out of jpoint by 6pm...
there werent any good shows on television so decided to watch disney's sleeping beauty which i juz finished downloading recently. actually, it's my second time watching it but since my sis havent caught it yet, i thought to myself; why the hell not go fer a second round?? LOL before you dismiss this animated feature as another maudlin, childish piece intended to entice and bewitch the younger crowd only, i suggest u give it a go first before meting out yr judgment. its actually pretty enjoyable~ the animation isnt top-notch (it was made in 1959 fergawd's sake! so wat can u expect!?!) but there is a classic, baroque feel thru'out which is pretty impressive or at least pleasant to the eye. character-wise, the good, but bumbling, fairies (named flora, fauna and merryweather - no kidding!) provide light-hearted humor and as usual, the big bad witch (aptly called Maleficient) is the most thrilling character to look out for. other than that, the beauty and her prince were bland and run-of-the-mill but certainly not as irritatingly boring as snow white and her seven pesky dwarfs! LOL... 3.5/5 stars!
ahhh.. well.. so ends another entry and another pathetic stab at becoming a critical but just movie reviewer! hehe :P
Saturday, August 16, 2003
stupid quiz
You're awesome, you are probobly very orignial,
believe in magic, you may believe in
witchcraft.. You love music. You love art..
You're cool in my book. Very cool. Have a nice
day m'am or sir!
Want to know your REAL Personality?
brought to you by Quizilla
magic card color
You're Forest. In the game Magic the Gathering, in
my opinion, Green is the best color. So kudos
to you. Green is strong and brave. They fight
the battle with courage and daring.
What Magic the Gathering Color are you?
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ps: i dont know anything abt magic cards! :(
raining
seems like the rain juz wudnt stop falling these days. but of course, that isnt entirely a bad thing. Rainy mornings are the best to sleep in but i dont know why my silly biological clock isnt working today. i woke up around an hour ago feeling slightly giddy but cudnt get myself to go back to sleep. one word; HANGOVER.
last nite's dinner gathering was superb but me thinks too much wine is served.. thus explaining the sad state of mind this morn. fortunately, i managed to regurgitate sum awful stuff in the bathroom before getting to bed and so was able to achieve a few hours of sleep. But my sleep these days are oft colored by vivid dreams... too vivid for comfort i must say and i wake up disoriented and unrejuvenated. however, seldom do i remember the details of those dreams beyond the hour upon waking. i think, that, in itself, is a greater comfort.
this week has been on the whole pretty dismal. things have come to pass which are rather sad and mournful but i feel that i do not really have the right to be judgmental especially where my dearest frens are concerned. nonetheless, i would like to extend the heartfelt reassurance that no matter what happens, the bonds of camaraderie will not be broken or forgotten... :)
i think sumtimes, relationships are OverRated. a pessimist wud view it as simply the manifestation of a human's fear of being lonely. the desire for companionship and the false sense of intimacy and security it brings... Maybe so. but then the most beautiful things in life are only transient and ephemeral. like a butterfly. or springtime. a flower. sunsets... and sumtimes even unreal, like a rainbow. indubitably, all these statements leave plenty of room for argument but rainy mornings have such a sombre effect on me. :P
oh yeah.. i did download a couple of new movies these week... retro animated movies! HAhaa. My Little Pony: the movie hearkens back to when i was juz a tiny thing and i still remember how the flying pegasus ponies used to enchant me so much. me thinks however, that its much too feminine fer my tastes now. *blearh* Yet despite this or maybe BEcause of it, my nieces enjoyed it very much. 2/5 stars.
the flight of dragons is much more in line wif my interests. i must confess, i have a great propensity for movies wif a mythical edge especially those involving fantastical creatures like dragons, elves, unicorns, etc etc. this 1986 fantasy adventure cartoon may be considered predictable and substandard when compared to the wide range of animated movies that are regularly churned out by Dreamworks or Disney but i think, its a Classic and i believe it has even reached cult status in the states (much like another retro animated movie, the Last Unicorn. Remember that one?? :P ) a piece of trivial trivia; the big baddie is voiced by an almost unrecognizable james earl jones. Anyway, fire-breathing dragons, nerdy hero, grizzled wizards, a princess in distress & corny, cliched one-liners; these are definitely the ingredients fer the perfect fantasy cartoon feature. muahahaha. this is strictly only fer fantasy fanatics. Like me... 2.5/5 stars!
okie.. thats it fer now. my poor tummy is growling fer a bit of breakfast.
last nite's dinner gathering was superb but me thinks too much wine is served.. thus explaining the sad state of mind this morn. fortunately, i managed to regurgitate sum awful stuff in the bathroom before getting to bed and so was able to achieve a few hours of sleep. But my sleep these days are oft colored by vivid dreams... too vivid for comfort i must say and i wake up disoriented and unrejuvenated. however, seldom do i remember the details of those dreams beyond the hour upon waking. i think, that, in itself, is a greater comfort.
this week has been on the whole pretty dismal. things have come to pass which are rather sad and mournful but i feel that i do not really have the right to be judgmental especially where my dearest frens are concerned. nonetheless, i would like to extend the heartfelt reassurance that no matter what happens, the bonds of camaraderie will not be broken or forgotten... :)
i think sumtimes, relationships are OverRated. a pessimist wud view it as simply the manifestation of a human's fear of being lonely. the desire for companionship and the false sense of intimacy and security it brings... Maybe so. but then the most beautiful things in life are only transient and ephemeral. like a butterfly. or springtime. a flower. sunsets... and sumtimes even unreal, like a rainbow. indubitably, all these statements leave plenty of room for argument but rainy mornings have such a sombre effect on me. :P
oh yeah.. i did download a couple of new movies these week... retro animated movies! HAhaa. My Little Pony: the movie hearkens back to when i was juz a tiny thing and i still remember how the flying pegasus ponies used to enchant me so much. me thinks however, that its much too feminine fer my tastes now. *blearh* Yet despite this or maybe BEcause of it, my nieces enjoyed it very much. 2/5 stars.
the flight of dragons is much more in line wif my interests. i must confess, i have a great propensity for movies wif a mythical edge especially those involving fantastical creatures like dragons, elves, unicorns, etc etc. this 1986 fantasy adventure cartoon may be considered predictable and substandard when compared to the wide range of animated movies that are regularly churned out by Dreamworks or Disney but i think, its a Classic and i believe it has even reached cult status in the states (much like another retro animated movie, the Last Unicorn. Remember that one?? :P ) a piece of trivial trivia; the big baddie is voiced by an almost unrecognizable james earl jones. Anyway, fire-breathing dragons, nerdy hero, grizzled wizards, a princess in distress & corny, cliched one-liners; these are definitely the ingredients fer the perfect fantasy cartoon feature. muahahaha. this is strictly only fer fantasy fanatics. Like me... 2.5/5 stars!
okie.. thats it fer now. my poor tummy is growling fer a bit of breakfast.
Friday, August 15, 2003
The Unbending Road
Sometimes the road seems straight and unbending.
Your horizons are clear; your eyes see lands beyond extending.
But where is the path now,
Where are the dreams that had you moving ―
Onward and forward through life’s journey, never-ending?
If only we could walk together, one step at a time.
If only our steps could never go out of rhythm and out of rhyme.
But we can only wonder how
We had committed such a foolish crime
And Fate has caught us, stealing moments from Time.
But what moments we had, do you still remember?
How the hours seem to fly whenever we are together?
But all we are left with now
Are memories to cherish and to savor.
Each instant with you is a precious pearl, to treasure forever.
Sometimes the road seems straight and unbending.
The conclusion is clear; this was never a race we would be winning.
But I know better now ―
The only kind of Happiness worth chasing
Lies not in the distance, but in the moments we were traveling.
---- circa June/July 2002.
Your horizons are clear; your eyes see lands beyond extending.
But where is the path now,
Where are the dreams that had you moving ―
Onward and forward through life’s journey, never-ending?
If only we could walk together, one step at a time.
If only our steps could never go out of rhythm and out of rhyme.
But we can only wonder how
We had committed such a foolish crime
And Fate has caught us, stealing moments from Time.
But what moments we had, do you still remember?
How the hours seem to fly whenever we are together?
But all we are left with now
Are memories to cherish and to savor.
Each instant with you is a precious pearl, to treasure forever.
Sometimes the road seems straight and unbending.
The conclusion is clear; this was never a race we would be winning.
But I know better now ―
The only kind of Happiness worth chasing
Lies not in the distance, but in the moments we were traveling.
---- circa June/July 2002.
Thursday, August 14, 2003
evanescence
But what right has even the smallest of mosquitoes to live;
2 hours, 2 days or 2 weeks?
Could it fly beyond its homely flowerpot
Before the arachnid ties it up in a knot?
Or could it buzz just above your delectable skin
And then, end up in a horrid splat like the rest of its pesky kin?
And thus our Fates perchance may be; No matter
young, old, strong or weak.
Could you live to see the next summer’s day
Before He, who gives, takes it all away?
Or is across the road your final destination
And have you courage enough to face your own evanescence?
---- 13th August 2003.
2 hours, 2 days or 2 weeks?
Could it fly beyond its homely flowerpot
Before the arachnid ties it up in a knot?
Or could it buzz just above your delectable skin
And then, end up in a horrid splat like the rest of its pesky kin?
And thus our Fates perchance may be; No matter
young, old, strong or weak.
Could you live to see the next summer’s day
Before He, who gives, takes it all away?
Or is across the road your final destination
And have you courage enough to face your own evanescence?
---- 13th August 2003.
nuthing to do
"You must remember this, a kiss is still a
kiss". Your romance is Casablanca. A
classic story of love in trying times, chock
full of both cynicism and hope. You obviously
believe in true love, but you're also
constantly aware of practicality and societal
expectations. That's not always fun, but at
least it's realistic. Try not to let the Nazis
get you down too much.
What Romance Movie Best Represents Your Love Life?
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Monday, August 11, 2003
late nights
i know i've got to do sumthing about my late nites... but as we all know, bad habits are hard to break. So here i am, yet again, typing away in the wee hours of the morning...
saturday nite's tabz outing was a tremendous success and this notion is unanimous... i definitely had so much more fun then last week when we came down as part of the bday celebrations. (i think it's mostly becuz i wasnt as dead drunk as that other time. LOL ) Gotta thank fazlee fer his absolut vodka, wifout which i think the outing wud have been a total bore. my dearie cuzzie however, had a leetle bit more alcohol than he cud handle so i guess he didnt really enjoy himself. i had a splendid chat wif him juz now and he claims NOT to remember anything much about the events that transpired last nite. so typical isnt it? when u've done sumthing so incredibly foolish and humiliating, just plead temporary insanity... Juz Kidding! hehe~ Anywayz, yesterday also marked the debut of a certain fellow named ZEee... Welcome to the Club, Boy! :)
sumtimes, i really dont understand how sum people can survive clubbing evry single weekend. for me, after awhile, things juz seem to get pretty mundane and banal. but i guess, the company you're wif whilst clubbing matters a lot too... and a little alcohol wudnt hurt either.. juz enuff to get you into the swing of things, i suppose. however, i dont really recommend alcohol to newbies and have made it a point not to force it upon anyone... I did a project on alcoholism a couple of semesters ago anyway, and who better than i shud know the ills and perils of excessive alcohol consumption?? LOL
alcohol is the baddie. Period. why then, do people continue to take it in doses considered to be less than healthy.. and they end up being... well, juz plain ugly drunkards??? to answer fizzy's question, i think it's becuz its a form of escapism... i know its a pretty lame excuse but when your senses are blurred and dulled by alcohol, its as if a completely different aspect of your personality could take over. all rules of conduct, all sense of propriety and decorum are swept aside... and for a little while, you're out of the fabric of time, away from the harsh realities of life. And nothing else matters but that instant of euphoria. the anaesthetic numbness that courses thru' your nerve endings and frees you from emotional and physical torment. Your words start to slur, your knees get week, your head starts to spin, you stumble over your own feet... Chances are, you'll make a complete ass of yourself and likely to wake up the morning after wif a nasty hang-over. But to some people, all these inconveniences are a trivial matter.. may even be worth it, just for that opportunity to FORGet. One night of freedom...
ohgosh.. i am rambling. again. why is my blog always choke-full of incoherent, long-winded sentences??
saturday nite's tabz outing was a tremendous success and this notion is unanimous... i definitely had so much more fun then last week when we came down as part of the bday celebrations. (i think it's mostly becuz i wasnt as dead drunk as that other time. LOL ) Gotta thank fazlee fer his absolut vodka, wifout which i think the outing wud have been a total bore. my dearie cuzzie however, had a leetle bit more alcohol than he cud handle so i guess he didnt really enjoy himself. i had a splendid chat wif him juz now and he claims NOT to remember anything much about the events that transpired last nite. so typical isnt it? when u've done sumthing so incredibly foolish and humiliating, just plead temporary insanity... Juz Kidding! hehe~ Anywayz, yesterday also marked the debut of a certain fellow named ZEee... Welcome to the Club, Boy! :)
sumtimes, i really dont understand how sum people can survive clubbing evry single weekend. for me, after awhile, things juz seem to get pretty mundane and banal. but i guess, the company you're wif whilst clubbing matters a lot too... and a little alcohol wudnt hurt either.. juz enuff to get you into the swing of things, i suppose. however, i dont really recommend alcohol to newbies and have made it a point not to force it upon anyone... I did a project on alcoholism a couple of semesters ago anyway, and who better than i shud know the ills and perils of excessive alcohol consumption?? LOL
alcohol is the baddie. Period. why then, do people continue to take it in doses considered to be less than healthy.. and they end up being... well, juz plain ugly drunkards??? to answer fizzy's question, i think it's becuz its a form of escapism... i know its a pretty lame excuse but when your senses are blurred and dulled by alcohol, its as if a completely different aspect of your personality could take over. all rules of conduct, all sense of propriety and decorum are swept aside... and for a little while, you're out of the fabric of time, away from the harsh realities of life. And nothing else matters but that instant of euphoria. the anaesthetic numbness that courses thru' your nerve endings and frees you from emotional and physical torment. Your words start to slur, your knees get week, your head starts to spin, you stumble over your own feet... Chances are, you'll make a complete ass of yourself and likely to wake up the morning after wif a nasty hang-over. But to some people, all these inconveniences are a trivial matter.. may even be worth it, just for that opportunity to FORGet. One night of freedom...
ohgosh.. i am rambling. again. why is my blog always choke-full of incoherent, long-winded sentences??
blood
Black blood! Depressed and hurt. You are not evil,
but you know that ther isn't only sunshine on
earth. You are very loyal, wise and concealed.
You have the blood of the dead ones, you're a
true soul!
What is your true blood color?
brought to you by Quizilla
gross
The MID-LIFE MASTURBATOR!
Well, that's you all right. Probably dulled-down
from one form of stress or another, you just
need a quickie every so often to keep your head
straight. (Oh the inuendo...)
There's nothing too special about you, but don't be
disappointed! You're like the majority of the
population and if it weren't for the
hipocritical popularity of "counter-
culture" in this society, you would have
liked that result. Go find some dirty pictures
of Miss April 2003 and get your wank on!
What Type of Masturbator are You? (for the guys)
brought to you by Quizilla
Saturday, August 09, 2003
patriotism
juz saw my mum off to the bustop ard halfanhour ago. she's going to johore today wif my uncle's family to visit sum distant relative.. so distant i cant even begin to make out how we're related. i was asked to come along (of course) but as much as i love my mum, i canNOT bring myself to spend a public holiday in sum dilapidated kampong where the only leisure activity i'm familiar wif is a television set.. besides, they arent planning to overnite there anyway so they'll be back by tonite... my mum juz gave me a buzz; she's approaching the tuas checkpoint already. i'm kinda worried about her, in a way. she's such a tiny woman and it seems to me that as i get older, she looks ever more fragile and in need of protection... i guess i'm juz still a mummy's boy at heart. :) However, my sis, mum and i had a mini discussion recently and we concluded that although i was certainly the most pampered child, i was NEVER the bratty sort who'd ask for things like candy and toys and bawled if i didnt get stuff... that was wat my younger bro was like! hmmm It's been quite awhile since i woke up so early and i'm pretty much amazed by the bustling activity that can take place at such an indecent hour! LOL
its national day today. *hurrah* (cynical tone) but i think i'm much too old to be displaying a fervent spirit of patriotism.. my nieces simply adore stephanie sun's new ditty about her beloVed country but i think our national day songs are beginning to lose their authenticity. the last one that really had an impact on me was kit chan's Home which was penned by dicklee. its abit humiliating to admit this now but i actually own a copy of that single! hehe. it's really nice though; it comes wif an english and mandarin version, an instrumental piece and the artfully printed sleeve includes the lyrics... *haiz* those were the days when our singapore songs still possessed that touch of glamor and nationalistic flavor... and while we're on this subject, i was listening in to warna 94.6fm (the malay radio station, duhz!) juz the other day and overheard the malay version of HOme!!! *shock! horror!* it was such an unflattering piece and sounded extremely ghastly! i mean, juz try to imagine kit chan trying to sing in less-than-convincing malay "disinilah tanah airku..." (but she sang it as tanah-ah-YEr-ku)... hmm.. ferget it.. its beYond imagination. ;p
its national day today. *hurrah* (cynical tone) but i think i'm much too old to be displaying a fervent spirit of patriotism.. my nieces simply adore stephanie sun's new ditty about her beloVed country but i think our national day songs are beginning to lose their authenticity. the last one that really had an impact on me was kit chan's Home which was penned by dicklee. its abit humiliating to admit this now but i actually own a copy of that single! hehe. it's really nice though; it comes wif an english and mandarin version, an instrumental piece and the artfully printed sleeve includes the lyrics... *haiz* those were the days when our singapore songs still possessed that touch of glamor and nationalistic flavor... and while we're on this subject, i was listening in to warna 94.6fm (the malay radio station, duhz!) juz the other day and overheard the malay version of HOme!!! *shock! horror!* it was such an unflattering piece and sounded extremely ghastly! i mean, juz try to imagine kit chan trying to sing in less-than-convincing malay "disinilah tanah airku..." (but she sang it as tanah-ah-YEr-ku)... hmm.. ferget it.. its beYond imagination. ;p
Friday, August 08, 2003
tarzan
movies, movies, movies!
i watched a few movies this past week.. so brace yrself for another movie commentary! LOL
on saturday, i managed to catch the grinch on hbo (at the hotel) and i must say that i've never seen jim carrey so genuinely funny eversince... erm.. let's see... the mask?? haha I think it might have been the fact that i am spared the torment of seeing his trademark rubber face... but of course a fuzzy green outfit is not really exhilarating either but at least it's a novelty! furthermore, the dr seuss story cud charm the pants off anyone, even the most die-hard anti-jimcarrey lobbyist! that aside, the quaint set-pieces, splendid narration by thespian anthony hopkins and cute-as-a-button taylor momsen as little cindy lou shud be more than enuff to put a smile on yr face thru-out the entire movie. - 3.5 /5 stars! if u're not into x'mas however, Avoid this show at all costs! LOL
my nieces sumhow psychoed my sis to buy fer them snow white & de seven dwarfs vcd; that antiquated relic frm disney's so-called golden age... wat can i say?? it is certainly one of the draggiest and most slow-moving cartoons ever. The animation is soooo primitive... and a ZERo for character development... plot and storyline is non-progressive... the only thing worth looking out for was the wicked queen.. she is such a Biatch~ definitely the most realistic character in the entire movie; my 3-yr-old niece's eyes were as large as saucers during the parts where the queen transformed herself into an old hag.. so scary seh! hehe. hmmmm but wat do u expect from an animated movie made in 1937??? LOL Although a milestone in its era, this show is strictly fer kids... unless of course u're a retard or have a fetish for dwarves. - 1.5/5 stars!
color of paradise shown over central on wednesday must be one of the most sensitive and meaningful shows i've watched this year. (FYI, its director, majid majidi, helmed the renowned children of heaven) i was apprehensive at first becuz i really didnt think iranian movies cud appeal much to my overly fastidious aesthetic senses (initially, i was like, watkind of name is majid majidi anywayz?? ) BUT boy, was i so Wrong! This movie, though it may appear to be a bit boring to some, completely blew me away! i had to depend on the subtitles thru'out but the actors didnt really have a lot of lines to say anyway yet they were able to convey so much thru' body expressions and emotions dat i'm sure subtitles weren't entirely necessary at all for me to enjoy the show. Subtle thematic elements abound but these shud not really detract you from the lush cinematography, wonderful storytelling and emotionally compelling characters. Ironically, for a movie about a blind boy, the locations used were damn colorful and picturesque, as if str8 out of a postcard at a travel agency... Hmm.. for those who detest mushy films, do not worry becuz this is no maudlin jackneo family drama... this is definitely THE BonaFide Arthouse masterpiece... erm, prepare yr hankies first though.. ;p - 4.5/5 stars!!!
i downloaded far from heaven quite some time back but only had the opportunity to watch it wifout any disruptions earlier this afternoon... i really regret not catching it in the cinemas though as i think it's one of those shows whose full value u can only appreciate when viewed in a theatre-environment. The pacing may seem to be abit slow but i think its perfect... like the gradual blooming of a rose, the unfurling of each petal has its own beauty... but of course, its director todd haynes actually meant it to be a tribute to the genre of "women's films" of the 1950's and this explains the lush visual style of the show which at times, may overwhelm the audience wif its dizzying opulence. nevertheless, it is still a beautiful movie about racial and sexual prejudice and i think no one cud have led it better than the MAgniFicient and EternallY Beautiful Julianne Moore. u can call this idol-worshipping for all i care but She is MADE for the part!... i was struck wif awe by her amazing ability to maintain a steadfast aura of sophistication and impeccable manners no matter how adverse the emotional circumstance. why is that??? anyway, dennis quaid is quite good too but not really convincing as a gay daddy... (must be becuz he's not cute enuff.. :P ) and dennis haysbert as the black gardener wif whom julianne's character falls for eventually is Wonderfully cast. he reminds me of denzel washington but only a much more calmer and stockier version and sumhow his presence thru'out the show has the effect akin to a cool stream on a humid day... if u getwatimean... This movie is truly an amazing showpiece, so perfectly stylized (even its end credits are faultless!) yet so profoundly engaging. who cud ask for more?? - definitely 4/5 stars!! those looking for a sympathetic portrayal of homosexuality, be warned! it is not a Central motif of the show... *disappointing* hehe.
well... hope i've not bored any of u to death wif my wannabe movie critic antics...*bleah* Will do a proper entry next, no worries... :P
on saturday, i managed to catch the grinch on hbo (at the hotel) and i must say that i've never seen jim carrey so genuinely funny eversince... erm.. let's see... the mask?? haha I think it might have been the fact that i am spared the torment of seeing his trademark rubber face... but of course a fuzzy green outfit is not really exhilarating either but at least it's a novelty! furthermore, the dr seuss story cud charm the pants off anyone, even the most die-hard anti-jimcarrey lobbyist! that aside, the quaint set-pieces, splendid narration by thespian anthony hopkins and cute-as-a-button taylor momsen as little cindy lou shud be more than enuff to put a smile on yr face thru-out the entire movie. - 3.5 /5 stars! if u're not into x'mas however, Avoid this show at all costs! LOL
my nieces sumhow psychoed my sis to buy fer them snow white & de seven dwarfs vcd; that antiquated relic frm disney's so-called golden age... wat can i say?? it is certainly one of the draggiest and most slow-moving cartoons ever. The animation is soooo primitive... and a ZERo for character development... plot and storyline is non-progressive... the only thing worth looking out for was the wicked queen.. she is such a Biatch~ definitely the most realistic character in the entire movie; my 3-yr-old niece's eyes were as large as saucers during the parts where the queen transformed herself into an old hag.. so scary seh! hehe. hmmmm but wat do u expect from an animated movie made in 1937??? LOL Although a milestone in its era, this show is strictly fer kids... unless of course u're a retard or have a fetish for dwarves. - 1.5/5 stars!
color of paradise shown over central on wednesday must be one of the most sensitive and meaningful shows i've watched this year. (FYI, its director, majid majidi, helmed the renowned children of heaven) i was apprehensive at first becuz i really didnt think iranian movies cud appeal much to my overly fastidious aesthetic senses (initially, i was like, watkind of name is majid majidi anywayz?? ) BUT boy, was i so Wrong! This movie, though it may appear to be a bit boring to some, completely blew me away! i had to depend on the subtitles thru'out but the actors didnt really have a lot of lines to say anyway yet they were able to convey so much thru' body expressions and emotions dat i'm sure subtitles weren't entirely necessary at all for me to enjoy the show. Subtle thematic elements abound but these shud not really detract you from the lush cinematography, wonderful storytelling and emotionally compelling characters. Ironically, for a movie about a blind boy, the locations used were damn colorful and picturesque, as if str8 out of a postcard at a travel agency... Hmm.. for those who detest mushy films, do not worry becuz this is no maudlin jackneo family drama... this is definitely THE BonaFide Arthouse masterpiece... erm, prepare yr hankies first though.. ;p - 4.5/5 stars!!!
i downloaded far from heaven quite some time back but only had the opportunity to watch it wifout any disruptions earlier this afternoon... i really regret not catching it in the cinemas though as i think it's one of those shows whose full value u can only appreciate when viewed in a theatre-environment. The pacing may seem to be abit slow but i think its perfect... like the gradual blooming of a rose, the unfurling of each petal has its own beauty... but of course, its director todd haynes actually meant it to be a tribute to the genre of "women's films" of the 1950's and this explains the lush visual style of the show which at times, may overwhelm the audience wif its dizzying opulence. nevertheless, it is still a beautiful movie about racial and sexual prejudice and i think no one cud have led it better than the MAgniFicient and EternallY Beautiful Julianne Moore. u can call this idol-worshipping for all i care but She is MADE for the part!... i was struck wif awe by her amazing ability to maintain a steadfast aura of sophistication and impeccable manners no matter how adverse the emotional circumstance. why is that??? anyway, dennis quaid is quite good too but not really convincing as a gay daddy... (must be becuz he's not cute enuff.. :P ) and dennis haysbert as the black gardener wif whom julianne's character falls for eventually is Wonderfully cast. he reminds me of denzel washington but only a much more calmer and stockier version and sumhow his presence thru'out the show has the effect akin to a cool stream on a humid day... if u getwatimean... This movie is truly an amazing showpiece, so perfectly stylized (even its end credits are faultless!) yet so profoundly engaging. who cud ask for more?? - definitely 4/5 stars!! those looking for a sympathetic portrayal of homosexuality, be warned! it is not a Central motif of the show... *disappointing* hehe.
well... hope i've not bored any of u to death wif my wannabe movie critic antics...*bleah* Will do a proper entry next, no worries... :P
Thursday, August 07, 2003
far from heaven
"It isnt.. plausible for me to be friends with you. You've been so very kind to me and I've been perfectly reckless and foolish in return, thinking... " - Kathleen
"Thinking what? That one person could reach out to another, take an interest in another? Then maybe for one fleeting instant, could manage to see beyond the surface, beyond the color of things?" - Raymond
"Do you think we ever really do? See beyond those things? The surface of things?"
" 'Just beyond the fall of grace, behold that ever shining place'... Yes I do... I don't really have a choice.. "
"Wish I could... Good luck to you Raymond."
---- excerpt from Far From Heaven, conversation between Kathleen Whitaker(Julianne Moore) & Raymond Deagan(Dennis Haysbert).
"Thinking what? That one person could reach out to another, take an interest in another? Then maybe for one fleeting instant, could manage to see beyond the surface, beyond the color of things?" - Raymond
"Do you think we ever really do? See beyond those things? The surface of things?"
" 'Just beyond the fall of grace, behold that ever shining place'... Yes I do... I don't really have a choice.. "
"Wish I could... Good luck to you Raymond."
---- excerpt from Far From Heaven, conversation between Kathleen Whitaker(Julianne Moore) & Raymond Deagan(Dennis Haysbert).
Wednesday, August 06, 2003
puzzlement
You have the eyes of an alligator in the water.
It's hard to tell who you are and how you feel.
You could be a crocodile, alligator, or just a
bit lizard. You keep certain things hidden
about yourself, and that's what makes people
see you as mysterious. There are some who know
how you really are, but those are the people
you enjoy being around with and who are close
to you. You enjoy alone time, but being with
others is okay to you as well. People don't
really pester you because they really don't
know what you're capable of doing. Hmm...could
be a good thing.
What Animal Eyes Do You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla
You seem like you won't even get drunk as much. You
drink moderately and most likely on special
occasions. If you feel yourself getting over
the limit, you would try to control yourself.
And if you were a bit tipsy, most likely you
would get some rest. You're a person who can
control your actions and are very responsible.
You are careful in what you do and like to
avoid trouble. That's good for you. More people
need to think like you do =)
If You Were to Get Drunk, What Kind of Drunk Would You Be?
brought to you by Quizilla
Tuesday, August 05, 2003
immortal
current mp3 dominating my musicjukebox is my immortal by evanescence which i "re-discovered" on sunday after watching my younger bro's newly acquired Daredevil vcd. i think riko recommended it to me some time back but i wasnt really attracted to it until i heard it during the scene where gorgeous jennifer garner was pelted by rain and ben affleck "saw" her beautiful image reproduced by the sound of the raindrops. Simply HAunting...
personally, i dont really like ben affleck movies cuz i have this impression that he belongs to the class of Wooden actors headed by mister NEo keanuReeves... (case in point, refer to his lacklustre performance in pearl harbour :P ) However, he wasnt Really terrible in daredevil.. the action sequences weren't really superb either but jennifer garner's mesmerizing turn as martial arts chick Elektra more than makes up for any flaws in the movie. colin farrel is engaging to watch but a tad too deranged for my tastes. Overall, a cool movie which i kinda regretted not watching in the theatres... definitely 3.5 stars out of five. :)
saturday's double birthday celebration was Fun, fun, FUN!!! the day started horribly however.. was kinda dejected and morose becuz a certain hotel didnt live up to our expectations.. nonetheless, a couple of hours and a few fonecalls later, we ended up wif a super chic and cool room at the Royal Plaza On scotts (which was coincidentally our 1st choice for birthday venue anyway!) did sum grocery shopping at taka's cold storage and the hours juz flew by! our guests started to arrive gradually and by 10pm, evryone seemed to be in a state of euphoria... assisted no doubt by zechiel's culinary chocolate masterpiece (heavenly sinful!~ wat an anti-thesis!) and mussy's red wine. And not forgetting the gin... and the two bottles of wine we bought.. hehehe. a foodfight was of course inevitable and eddy's yummy blackforest contribution was the weapon of choice. by midnite, i was totally SMASHED.. (i guess i got abit carried away :P ) and the rest of the crowd were WiLD... it was rather a surprise that we didnt receive any complaints from our neighbours. i must admit that i, for one, behaved rather unbecomingly... the ignominy of the nite will haunt me for many days to come before time erases all memry of it... LOL
it was such a darn shame though that i was too inebriated to enjoy our tabz outing and after like 10 minutes of exposure to the mind-numbing, stifling crowd and noise (which sum pple call music...) i couldnt bear it anymore... so my dearest chacha took me to maxwell fer sum time-out and mineral water after which, i regurgitated almost immediately!!! ultimate gross-out!!! anywayz, the morning after wasnt too bad cuz i didnt really get any nasty hangovers... the funny thing was that i woke up monday wif the most agonizing flu! so that kept me in bed fer a few hours until i cudnt bear the boredom anymore so i went over to jurongeast entertainment centre (most fondly called JEC by almost all westies) for sum edo-sushi wif chacha... On the way back however, my flu sort of deteriorated and after a couple of panadols and a chlorpheniramine tablet later, i was hale enuff to make a blog entry.. .and so here i am typing away at my keyboard like a crazy person at bloody 220hrs in the morning... *shudder*
well, dats about it for now... those damn pills better start kicking in soon before i run out of tissues to wipe my dripping mucus wif.. LOL
personally, i dont really like ben affleck movies cuz i have this impression that he belongs to the class of Wooden actors headed by mister NEo keanuReeves... (case in point, refer to his lacklustre performance in pearl harbour :P ) However, he wasnt Really terrible in daredevil.. the action sequences weren't really superb either but jennifer garner's mesmerizing turn as martial arts chick Elektra more than makes up for any flaws in the movie. colin farrel is engaging to watch but a tad too deranged for my tastes. Overall, a cool movie which i kinda regretted not watching in the theatres... definitely 3.5 stars out of five. :)
saturday's double birthday celebration was Fun, fun, FUN!!! the day started horribly however.. was kinda dejected and morose becuz a certain hotel didnt live up to our expectations.. nonetheless, a couple of hours and a few fonecalls later, we ended up wif a super chic and cool room at the Royal Plaza On scotts (which was coincidentally our 1st choice for birthday venue anyway!) did sum grocery shopping at taka's cold storage and the hours juz flew by! our guests started to arrive gradually and by 10pm, evryone seemed to be in a state of euphoria... assisted no doubt by zechiel's culinary chocolate masterpiece (heavenly sinful!~ wat an anti-thesis!) and mussy's red wine. And not forgetting the gin... and the two bottles of wine we bought.. hehehe. a foodfight was of course inevitable and eddy's yummy blackforest contribution was the weapon of choice. by midnite, i was totally SMASHED.. (i guess i got abit carried away :P ) and the rest of the crowd were WiLD... it was rather a surprise that we didnt receive any complaints from our neighbours. i must admit that i, for one, behaved rather unbecomingly... the ignominy of the nite will haunt me for many days to come before time erases all memry of it... LOL
it was such a darn shame though that i was too inebriated to enjoy our tabz outing and after like 10 minutes of exposure to the mind-numbing, stifling crowd and noise (which sum pple call music...) i couldnt bear it anymore... so my dearest chacha took me to maxwell fer sum time-out and mineral water after which, i regurgitated almost immediately!!! ultimate gross-out!!! anywayz, the morning after wasnt too bad cuz i didnt really get any nasty hangovers... the funny thing was that i woke up monday wif the most agonizing flu! so that kept me in bed fer a few hours until i cudnt bear the boredom anymore so i went over to jurongeast entertainment centre (most fondly called JEC by almost all westies) for sum edo-sushi wif chacha... On the way back however, my flu sort of deteriorated and after a couple of panadols and a chlorpheniramine tablet later, i was hale enuff to make a blog entry.. .and so here i am typing away at my keyboard like a crazy person at bloody 220hrs in the morning... *shudder*
well, dats about it for now... those damn pills better start kicking in soon before i run out of tissues to wipe my dripping mucus wif.. LOL
quiz results again? so bo-liao!!!
You are...Beautiful. You think you're perfect the
way you are, and you're right.
Which Christina Aguilera song are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
You are Louis, the unusually compassionate vampire
and by far most people's favorite.
Which *Interview with the Vampire* character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Friday, August 01, 2003
another day, another entry
had this all typed down already but due to an unfortunate cirmcumstance, here i am again... :(
first and foremost, a very happy birthday to both drumgroovy and my beloved chacha who coincidentally share the same birthdate. i wish the both of you the best in your future endeavours... funny but come to think of it, i've never met anyone wif the same birthdate before and i cannot really decide if it's a cool thing or not... hehe.
frankly speaking, i'm much too old to celebrate birthdays. in my opinion, wats a birthday but just another day to mark in your calender?? every year, you get a year older but only in rare cases, a year wiser. it is beyond any doubts that age is NOT an indication of sagacity or maturity. i myself, have been the guilty perpetrator of numerous inane and puerile acts that when i think about it, makes me cringe in humiliation. so i'd rather not go there...
but still, i think birthdays should not be just a celebration of achieving another year in your lifespan but also the solemnization or acknowledgement of having gone through the best and worst and becoming a better individual at the end of it all. having said that, each day is a learning experience and i Have learnt much since the days of naivete when i first begun blogging... it has really been quite sum time since i updated blog anyway and this time i am determined to do a proper one... and i wont include any quizilla quiz result either! muahaha.
during the weekend, i had an extravagant ktv outing wif a few of my blogmates and it was a debacle i care not to repeat. since it was really such an impromptu thing anyway, part of the blame goes to the failure of having enough foresight and being too impulsive about things we arent too certain about. haha. anyhow, i cant really recall much of what i did fer the rest of the week.. i visited my younger bro at the hospital a couple of times and oh.. he was finally discharged yesterday. Hurrah! well, i am glad he is back... my mum has been incessantly fussing over him eversince he stepped foot into the house but mothers being mothers, i guess they're entitled to behave as anxiously and fussily as they wish... especially when one of their sons just came back from the hospital after 3 weeks. :)
my younger bro is not really acclimatizing well to his new set of medications however.. it was rather alarming to see him vomitting his meagre breakfast this morning. he is turning twenty in september but he doesnt seem to be half as worldly-wise as some of my blogmates who are much younger than he is.. but then, he is not as lucky i suppose... just imagine a life where downing a dozen different prescribed pills evry morning is a norm (& a necessity), where you're prohibited from engaging in any form of physical activity that is strenuous becuz to do so is lifethreatening? if life was a bitter pill, then my bro had an overdose of it... my fraternal bonds wif him are far from intimate but i can empathise wif his loss.. am desolate even at the injustice conferred upon him by destiny...
hmmm... i wud lurve to delve at length about this subject matter of lost-youth and stuff but my mum had for i think, the third time, juz reminded me to be wary of the time... lest i will be extremely late for friday prayers. how typical of me, isnt it.. to be late for practically evrything and i guess all of my friends can attest to the fact that for me to be punctual.. is close to being a miracle. muahahaha. but seriously, it's not simply a matter of bad habits die hard.. i think i wud have to revolutionise my whole lifestyle in order to beat this BUg.. LOL... in any case, i'm afraid i'd be late fer even my own funeral ;p
first and foremost, a very happy birthday to both drumgroovy and my beloved chacha who coincidentally share the same birthdate. i wish the both of you the best in your future endeavours... funny but come to think of it, i've never met anyone wif the same birthdate before and i cannot really decide if it's a cool thing or not... hehe.
frankly speaking, i'm much too old to celebrate birthdays. in my opinion, wats a birthday but just another day to mark in your calender?? every year, you get a year older but only in rare cases, a year wiser. it is beyond any doubts that age is NOT an indication of sagacity or maturity. i myself, have been the guilty perpetrator of numerous inane and puerile acts that when i think about it, makes me cringe in humiliation. so i'd rather not go there...
but still, i think birthdays should not be just a celebration of achieving another year in your lifespan but also the solemnization or acknowledgement of having gone through the best and worst and becoming a better individual at the end of it all. having said that, each day is a learning experience and i Have learnt much since the days of naivete when i first begun blogging... it has really been quite sum time since i updated blog anyway and this time i am determined to do a proper one... and i wont include any quizilla quiz result either! muahaha.
during the weekend, i had an extravagant ktv outing wif a few of my blogmates and it was a debacle i care not to repeat. since it was really such an impromptu thing anyway, part of the blame goes to the failure of having enough foresight and being too impulsive about things we arent too certain about. haha. anyhow, i cant really recall much of what i did fer the rest of the week.. i visited my younger bro at the hospital a couple of times and oh.. he was finally discharged yesterday. Hurrah! well, i am glad he is back... my mum has been incessantly fussing over him eversince he stepped foot into the house but mothers being mothers, i guess they're entitled to behave as anxiously and fussily as they wish... especially when one of their sons just came back from the hospital after 3 weeks. :)
my younger bro is not really acclimatizing well to his new set of medications however.. it was rather alarming to see him vomitting his meagre breakfast this morning. he is turning twenty in september but he doesnt seem to be half as worldly-wise as some of my blogmates who are much younger than he is.. but then, he is not as lucky i suppose... just imagine a life where downing a dozen different prescribed pills evry morning is a norm (& a necessity), where you're prohibited from engaging in any form of physical activity that is strenuous becuz to do so is lifethreatening? if life was a bitter pill, then my bro had an overdose of it... my fraternal bonds wif him are far from intimate but i can empathise wif his loss.. am desolate even at the injustice conferred upon him by destiny...
hmmm... i wud lurve to delve at length about this subject matter of lost-youth and stuff but my mum had for i think, the third time, juz reminded me to be wary of the time... lest i will be extremely late for friday prayers. how typical of me, isnt it.. to be late for practically evrything and i guess all of my friends can attest to the fact that for me to be punctual.. is close to being a miracle. muahahaha. but seriously, it's not simply a matter of bad habits die hard.. i think i wud have to revolutionise my whole lifestyle in order to beat this BUg.. LOL... in any case, i'm afraid i'd be late fer even my own funeral ;p
ohmygod
the most unthinkable thing happened... was attempting to update blog and was in my third long and verbose paragraph.. but i got dced and i refreshed blog page wifout saving... and.... *poof*... it's all gone... vanished into the four winds... DAMN
